The Self Improvement Toolshop

tools to make you a better you

Take Back Your Life


 So what is up with your life?  Is it out of control?  Are you busy, busy, busy?  Are you busy, busy, busy just doing stuff that you “have to do?”  Don’t you have some dreams?  Don’t you have some things that are important to you that you just never get around?  Did your life and what is important to you get taken away?  Are you a prisoner of exhaustion?  Are you a prisoner of your daily life?  Did you think that your day to day life would be like this?

Everyone’s life can take a turn to the rat race.  Even if you never intended to join the rat race.  It just happened one day.  One day you were carefree looking forward to each new day.  Suddenly you were dragging your body around, your mind racing with all of your responsibilities. 

So what is iimportant to you?  Not what you have to do but what you really like and want to do.  Forget about your responsibilities.  Just let your mind drift.  Think about those thoughts that you push aside because you are too busy or too tired.

How about religious activities?  Are you religious person who wants to get more involved?  Are you a spiritual person?  Do you want to sound off to your politicians?  Is there a community project you are interested in?  is there a hobby you want to pursue?  Do you want to get on a fitness program?  Do you want to change your eating habits?  Do you want to spend more time with your kids?  Do you want to spend more time with your friends?  Do you want that promotion?  Do you want to spend more time with the love of your life?  Do you want to find the love of your life?  Do you want to read a special book?  Do you want to learn about something? 

Your intentions are there.  Your actions are missing.  I bet that even though you want to do this and it is important to you your mindset is stopping you.  You get excited about doing something and then you think, "Ohhh, too much effort .”  Do you see what is happening?  Things that you enjoy and that are meaningful to you are losing their meaning and importance due to your mind set. 

You are in a rut.  You are in a mindset.  Busy, busy, busy, tired, tired, tired.  So how do yo get out? 

Your first step to taking back your life is organization and to stop being a know it all. 

I have a friend Jamie.  She has two kids in elementary school.  Being a devoted mom she rejected her local public schools that are near by.  She found schools that she felt would better suit her kid’s needs.  What that means is that she spends 60 minutes a day driving her kids to school and from school.  That also means she has to center her day around school pick up and delivery. 

She has three jobs and is the keeper of her house as well as being on committees.  I asked her if she could join a carpool so she could free up some of her time.  Her answer was yes but she did not want to. 

Here is where organization and not being a know it all comes in.  She is a know it all.  All she knows is that she must drive and pick up her kids.  Why??? I don’t know especially when she has another option. 

Is this you?  Can you organize something and stop being a know it all?  Think about where this may be happening in your life.  Think about how you can free up some of your time.

Doing this one thing can give you a push to get out of your rut.  Doing this one thing can get you out of your mindset.  Doing this one thing can give you some free time. 

You have to get practical and start small.  Start waving good bye to the rat race.  Start taking back your life. 

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

PS Relax.  Take some deep breaths.  You can do it.


March 27, 2007 Posted by | personal time | Leave a comment


dvd4pod.gif  Happy Saturday.  Sometimes a more fun you can be a better you.  So here is a fun product I just found. 

You and your IPOD go everywhere.  You and your IPOD are pals.  Your IPOD has the tunes that make you sing, laugh, cry and just plain rock you.   Wouldn’t it be great to have your favorite DVDS on your IPOD for your viewing pleasure?  Of course it would. 

Anyways this software product lets you easily transfer your DVDS to your IPOD.  The wonders of technology.  Check it out here so you can take your favorite DVDS and tunes with you wherever you are.

Happy Week End

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach


March 25, 2007 Posted by | fun, personal time | Leave a comment

Is Your Tank Empty, or Full?


This is a great article about finding balance and doing something good for yourself

.  Friday Afternoon.  Work’s done. No where to go, no responsibilities, no obligations. Don’t have to be home until, well, whenever – it’s my night out.

You think I’d be off like a rocket, right? Heading to the cafe/bookstore/movie theatre/park/you-name-it, to enjoy my favorite diversion?

Nope. I sat in the car, and just stared. I didn’t even turn on the ignition.

This was highly unusual. It used to be that anytime I had a free moment, I’d be hanging out at a bookstore, filling my mind with all kinds of new ideas. Or at a cafe, filling my stomach with all kinds of delights (ever had a “cobblestone”? Yum.). Or sightseeing, filling my eyes with all kinds of new sights, amazing views, breathtaking scenery.

But not today. Today, I drew a blank. Why?

It wasn’t filling that I needed. I had been working so much, learning so much, giving so much, all week long. I didn’t need to fill with ideas, food, or air. I was full enough already. What I needed was emptying.

– Are you full enough, too?

The reason I ask is, you’re probably a “giver”, just like me. In your work and in your personal life, you most likely engage in a lot more giving to others than being given to (at least directly). Caregivers, healers, coaches, entrepreneurs – your lives are focused on giving to the lives of others.

So wouldn’t you think you’d be empty then, from all that giving?

Au contraire. As a giver, your focus is always on someone other than you. Rather than look to what you need moment by moment, you’re probably much more tuned into the needs of others, and you’re catering to their requests (spoken or unspoken). You’re so full of everyone else’s lives, so attentive to others’ needs, you rarely stop to put yourself in the picture, too.

Because of that “other-focus”, most givers don’t engage in enough truly restful behaviors. We’re spending the bulk of our time considering the needs of our clients, families, and friends, that our own needs get shunted to the back of the line.

So what do you do, when it’s your turn?

Getting the Rest You Need
In order to really know what kind of rest you need, you need to tune into your own heart first, and see where your tank is at.

– Start with some Remembrance. That’s always the best way to tap into your own heart, and take stock of where you’re at.

– Then, feel your inner “tank.” Are you full (had enough input to last you a while)? Or, are you empty (can’t feel much left inside, thirsty for something new)?

This is a subtle distinction; give yourself the time you need to feel where you’re truly at. And be aware that one can masquerade as the other. Trouble figuring out what level your tank is at? Try this:

– Take the idea of going to a bookstore. Or a library, or a mall, or onto the internet. Hold that idea in your heart while you Remember for a minute or so. How’d that feel?
– Now, take the idea of being alone on a walk (park, beach, wherever). Or golfing, running, biking, swimming, etc. Or playing with a dog, or blowing off steam in your favorite way. And hold that idea in your heart while you Remember for a minute or so. How’d that one feel?

If the bookstore/new idea brought peace to your heart, then you could use some filling. If the alone time/steam-blowing did the trick for your heart, then it’s emptying that should be your agenda.

Doesn’t evaluating all this with your heart take up a bunch of time? A few minutes, sure. But better to use a few minutes to know what you’re really needing than waste hours over-filling or further-depleting your tank.

So, what was the verdict?

I felt my heart, started the car, and headed over to the movies. Movies, for me, are both entertaining and emptying – a chance to get out of my head for a couple hours. And then, I talked to myself the entire drive home, emptying my head of all the ideas I hadn’t had time to process that week.

And when I pulled into the driveway, my head’s tank was empty, and my heart’s tank was full – the perfect place to be when you’re about to get jumped on by two kids, welcoming you home.

About the Author

Are you struggling to get done all you need to get done? You have a message you want to bring to the world; don’t let it get buried under mounds of unfinished work. Visit, and get a free ebook that will help you silence the overwhelm.

Article Source: Content for Reprint

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach 

March 1, 2007 Posted by | choice, personal time | 1 Comment

It’s Sunday


Today is Sunday.  Sunday is usually a day off from work. So what am I doing working?  I am the Boss and the Boss said I have a job to do today, Sunday.  I am sure that now that you are the Boss you understand why I am working on a Sunday.   However, I am a kind boss.  I am working on a Sunday but I am not working all of Sunday.  I have a small project to complete.  I have devoted one hour to this project and then I will be off for the rest of the day. Working one hour on Sunday is not that bad.  As a matter of fact it is just fine.  How do you schedule time off?  Now that you are the Boss you need to think about your time creatively.  You need to think out of the box.  Since you work at home you have more time for work.  You do not need to consider travel time to and from work. You home is your work place.  If you want to jump out of bed and go to work in your pajamas you can do that.  You do not have to spend time dressing for work.  I do not advise this but if you are in a pinch it is an option.  So what about time off?  How does that fit into your work now that you are responsible for everything.  After all you are the Boss.   The first thing to do is to plan your day.  That includes your work time as well as your non work time.  When you work for yourself you need to stop thinking about work days.  You need to think about work time.  Work time is how much time you need to accomplish your to do list.  Suppose you have 5 work tasks and two personal tasks.  You can certainly break up your day and allocate time for your personal tasks/appointments. For example:   8AM to 11:00AM Work Tasks                     

                     11:15AM to 12:00PM Personal Tasks/Appointments                     

                     12:10PM to 3:00PM Work Tasks                       

                     3:10PM to 4PM Personal Tasks/Appointments                       

                     4:10PM to 6PM Work Tasks  You need to be a kind boss.  You need to give yourself time off to take care of your personal business.  By scheduling and planning you will accomplish what you need to.  You will also enjoy yourself.  You will also be able to do what is important to you.  One perk of being the boss is that you can schedule time for your family, outside interests, appointments, and the things that matter to you.  You can also have a productive work day.  Isn’t that one of the reasons you wanted to have a work at home business?   I have some products that are chock full information about this and more.  Please join my free newsletter.  I am sure it will be an invaluable tool for you. Marcia, Your Confidence Coach                       

February 4, 2007 Posted by | being the boss, personal time, work time | Leave a comment