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Get What You Want Out of Life

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Do you get what you want out of life?  I have been thinking about this a lot.  How do you get what you want out of life?  I have also been thinking about this a lot.

I have been observing people regarding this topic.  My final conclusion and observation is that you will and can not get what you want out of life is you make improper decisions/choices. 

Improper decisions/choices will affect you and there will be consequences.  When you make an improper decision/choice it can certainly look like the consequences were out of your control.  And they are once you make the wrong choice/decision. 

Here is an example of what I am talking.  Life is going good for you.  You are enjoying yourself.  Perhaps life was tough for a awhile so now you are relaxing and enjoying the peace, happiness and relaxation you are experiencing.  A decision/choice is coming up.  You are in the “happy things are good mode.”   You do not pay the proper attention to the upcoming decision.  Maybe you are careless.  Maybe you are in an upbeat mood.  Whatever the reason you slack off.  You do not put the thought and detail into the upcoming decision/choice. 

You decide or choose poorly.  Boom. Things happen that you do not want to happen.  All of a sudden your happy, gay mood is over.  You are now dealing with new issues and problems.  What happened? 

You made a mistake.  But you do not see it like that.  How you see it is you got screwed.  And maybe you did.  But could you have prevented it if you had made a different decision/choice.  Probably yes. 

Here is another example.  Your life is in the toilet.  You are up against the wall.  You have to do something.  You make your decision/choice out of desperation or the only thing you think can do.  Your choices are limited.  But how did it come to this?  How did you get to this point of desperation?  Probably from past decisions/choices that you made. 

Now you can see the harm and danger to you from improper decisions/choices. 

So how do you stop the cycle?  You protect yourself.  You find out all the information.  You ask questions.  You forget about looking silly by asking questions.  You ask away to protect yourself and get the information you need to make the best decisions/choices.  You do not make a decision/choice if you are not comfortable with it. 

You take your time in deciding/choosing.  You do not procrastinate.  You apply thought and care to your decision/choice. 

Once you make your decision/choice there is another step involved.  If the outcome does not turn out as you expected you have to take a step back.  You need to step back without emotion and negative judgement of yourself. 

Once you do this you review objectively.  Subjective review is not the way to go.  Objective review means you look at your decision/choice based on the facts and information you used. 

Was the information misleading?  Did you misinterpret the information?  Did you use the information and make your decision/choice counting on an outcome that the information did not actually support?  In other words were you hoping things would turn out the way you wanted them to? 

This can happen and the way to avoid it is to be objective.  Decide/choose based on only what you know to be true not what might happen.  By doing this you will narrow down your choices.

Did the information confuse you to the point that it was not helpful?  If this happens try to talk it over with someone.  Try to clarify the information.  Sort the facts out.  Get to the bottom line.  Eliminate extraneous information.  Get clear on what will actually happen and what may happen.  If you are still uncertain consider the worst consequences possible based on the possible decisions/choices you can make.  Eliminate the decisions/choices with these dangerous consequences. Decide/choose the one with the least harmful consequences. 

Take responsibility for your decisions/choices.  Taking reponsibility means that “you made the decision/choice.”  Taking repsonsibility does not mean blaming yourself or someone else for the outcome.  Taking reponsibility means that you did what you did.  The decision/choice was yours. 

Once you do this you will notice that life becomes lighter and easier even if the outcome was not what you expected.  Once you take reponsibilty you know that you are in control of your life.  You know that when you made a decision/choice that turned out the way you expected it to you gain confidence.  You also know that when the decision/choice did not turn out the way you expected you have the confidence to go from there. 

As long as you acknowledge and recognize your input you can learn and change from it.  You must own your decisions/choices.  They must be yours and come from you.

Perhaps you made the best decision/choice and it still did not turn out how you wanted.  Let it go.  You can not predict the future.  See if there were past decisions/choices that got you to this place.  See how you can avoid, in the future, getting to a place where even the best decision/choice will not turn out the way you want. 

Decision/choices lead to more decisions/choices.  The best way to break the cycle of harmful decisions/ choices is to start now.  Clean up what happened in the past and start fresh now. 

Your clean up will be messy.  That is to be expected.  Once you get that tackled and you can start on your new mind set you will notice that there will be less and less clean up. 

You will be teaching yourself how to decide/choose in a way that will protect you.  You will be teaching yourself how to decide/choose in a way that will benefit you.  You will be teaching yourself how to decide/choose in a way that will help you gain confidence.  You will be teaching yourself how to decide/choose in a way that will help you take responsibility for your life.  You will be teaching yourself how to decide/choose in a way that will get you what you want in life. 

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

May 10, 2007 - Posted by | choice, competence, confidence, decision, how to succeed, knowledge, self improvement, success

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